So i’ll just give you one last dose for the day, and then I’m off to bed to watch the first two episodes of the new season of Californication. As I ate my chicken fingers tossed in Frank’s Buffalo sauce, I was fortunate enough to catch an episode of a show called Sex Decoys: Love Stings. If you are not familiar with this show, you’re better off, turn away now and forget I ever said anything then I’ll be happy to fill you in. Its a reality show on Fox RC about a middle aged woman that is 95% synthetic that runs her own private investigation agency, and she, along with her three incredibly trashy daughters Kashmir, Jasmine & Xanadu (Xanawho?), target cheating males. The mom, Sandra, chooses one of her daughters to play the role of fresh meat for the cheater and sets up a whole sting operation with the final goal of getting footage to show the suspected cheater’s wife or girlfriend.
Now I’ve seen this show before and resisted blogging about it, but this time, I just had to. The oldest daughter is a stripper, and she doesnt want to work for the family business (the only family business she’s familiar with is the kind that involves her, one of her cousins, and her retarded uncle Leroy with a video camera) . Her mom insists on this episode, and so Kashmir sends the suspected cheater a video of her dancing around on his myspace in a bikini, which almost made me vomit. The blind idiot suspected cheater falls for it and sets up a date with her, and when he shows up, he shows up with a gun on his waist (state of Arizona). The daughter proceeds to give the guy a lapdance (that IS her job), and gets it all on video so they can show the suspect’s girlfriend and she can scream and bitch and cry and then take him back.
Anyway, the reason I felt the need to post today was twofold. Firstly, this woman, thought it was reasonable to send her OWN DAUGHTER into a house to wait for a stranger, and he shows up with A GUN and she lets it carry on. She watched on the other side of the camera as her own daughter’s ass rubbed up against both a penis and cold hard blue steel…AT THE SAME TIME. Just listen to how that sounds… You know there’s gotta be something wrong with that. My second, and perhaps bigger qualm with tonight’s episode, is that Kashmir is DISGUSTING. She is a fat disgusting trashy slob who calls herself a stripper. Fair enough, who am I to judge, maybe some guys like seeing fat disgusting cheeseburger eating factories rolling around on stage. I don’t. But what is completely ridiculous is that they use this KFC receptacle as BAIT for a potential cheater. No word of a lie, I wouldn’t even cheat on myself with this pig. I understand some men like a big ass, but I’m sure they aren’t so keen when that big ass is attached to an even bigger gut and orangutan titties that hang down like drapes over said gut. For this reason, and this reason above all others (because there are ALOT of others), I think the show is staged. No guy who is getting laid somewhere else (aka with a girlfriend) is touching this broad. I don’t care how unattractive your girlfriend is….She can’t be worse than this. If I had to guess, I’d say that this redneck is what’s waiting for you when you get to Satan’s gates. She’s what I’d imagine hell to be like. My God, I better start being good.