This just in (courtesy of a very attractive tipster), a 25 yr old man in New Jersey has been charged with 4 counts of child endangerment as well as drug offenses after filling his 4 year old son’s jacket with baggies of cocaine and sending him to preschool. Apparently this brilliant individual stashed his product in his kid’s jacket after almost being caught with it himself. (The kids new theme song is Ice Cube Ghetto Vet….”now everybody wanna put they dope on me sayin’ I won’t get searched by the LAPD”). Anyway, the kid went to his preschool and promptly started having a blow party with his friends, because his daddy told him it was candy. The teacher noticed that one of the little girls had a baggie of blow in her mouth (how hilarious of a sight would that be…), and she called the cops. This kid had shared his blow with 3 other kids by the time the teacher caught him. They consequently found even more blow in the pockets of his jacket.
What kind of dumb a**hole would feel comfortable with that much of his cocaine going to a preschool with a child who thinks its candy? Kids LOVE candy…of course the kid is going to share it. The dad might as well have dumped it in the garbage, because candy lasts as long in a child’s hands as a virgin would in Giselle Bundchen’s. These kids must have been drooling relentlessly and giving each other hugs and sh*t, saying how much they loved each other. Christ, if the teacher didn’t get to it as soon as she did, we might have had goddamn babies sniffing lines off other babies asses. Now THAT would have made for great news. This is almost as cruel funny inhumane hilarious awful as that idiot who let his 2yr old and 5yr old nephews smoke a blunt…So who’s worse?