Oooh, goody goody goody…I’ve been waiting for this douchebag to give me an excuse to tear him apart. So where do I start. David Hasselhoff, wash up actor extraordinaire, was taken to hospital on Sunday night after his 17 yr old daughter called the police saying she had spoken to her dad on the phone and he sounded extremely drunk. This is the same David Hasselhoff that was filmed by his daughter a couple of years ago, drunk as sh*t trying to eat a cheeseburger. This big dumb bear is so juiced that he’s having more trouble eating that cheeseburger than I would writing a linear algebra exam after a 3 day bender involving Absinthe, peyote and various barbituates. His poor daughter is asking him over and over to stop drinking, and all he can mumble is “f**k you….mumblemumblemumble..life…mumblemumblemumble bullshit”. Like congratulations you old pathetic bastard, cussing out your 12 year old daughter for giving a sh*t about your old haggard ass. Then some wiseguy decides to give this waste of life a judging position on America’s got Talent…funny, because I don’t remember anyone in the world (except in Germany, but they don’t count) thinking this guy has talent. So how can he judge others? Well, if you’ve watched the show, you know full well he can’t. He desperately tries to get the crowd to laugh at his jokes, and has absolutely nothing of interest to say about anything, ever. Piers Morgan and Sharon Osbourne generally make the decisions, and Hasselhoff is the clown put on there for the whole world to laugh at (not with).
So now, this issue has come up with him going to the hospital on Sunday for being annihilated, when he was supposed to have kicked the habit. This is the crown jewel of the story: Hasselhoff’s excuse. According to his peeps, Hasselhoff was on medication for an ear infection, and that medication conflicted with the drug Antabuse, that Hasselhoff is on for his alcholism, and it “messed up his equilibrium”. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. You think because at one point in your life you were one of the stars of a successful show, that people are going to believe any bullshit you feed them? Well I got news for you you old wrinkled bastard…there were only two reasons people watched Baywatch, and those two reasons sat comfortably on Pamela Anderson’s chest. The only reason you had a music career in Germany is because they couldn’t understand what the f**k you were singing about, and you could have copied and pasted any random actor into your role in Knight Rider, and it probably would have been even MORE successful. People watched it for the car, not you.
I for one, am fed up with TV people giving this deadbeat opportunities to continue making something of himself. He is just a washed up dirtbag, who not only abused vodka, but also his ex- wife and his children. If only this son of a bitch was as good a father to HIS kids as he was to Hobie Buchanan. Someone please kill this guy’s career.