Ok, back again. Sorry I haven’t been writing more, but I have been very busy. I will right on a daily basis once I buy myself a netbook for the train.
But for now, I have yet another rant.
So I live in London, which has some of the dreariest weather anywhere. Its not particularly cold, and its not particularly hot, but it is wet, and damp, and grey. Fabulous, I know. During winter, when it rains almost every day, it becomes very dangerous to walk the streets. Not because of the rain itself, but funnily enough, its the solution to the rain that is the problem. EVERYBODY brings their umbrellas out on a rainy day (obviously), but these stupid umbrellas make a very daunting task of the ride home, as I have to be careful not to get poked in the damn eye by one of the spikes on somebody’s umbrella. (I’m not the only one, there is even a facebook page dedicated to this issue)I’d like to know who the doofus is that designed the classic umbrella, and why no one has thought to make them a little less dangerous since their inception. The thing has 2 inch SPIKES coming out of the edges, and I have very nearly gotten cornea-raped by one of these little buggers on more than one occasion. Like seriously, is there not some other solution to this issue? Or is it just because I’m tall that I’m actually affected? Because people wave their umbrellas around every which way, without even a thought, while I dodge and duck like the goddamn matrix to make sure I don’t end up looking like a f**king pirate. This is not fair. It’s not fair because I don’t actually use an umbrella. Everytime I’ve gone out with an umbrella, the wind has flipped it inside out and broken it, and not only do I lose the umbrella….and get wet….but I end up looking like a total idiot desperately flailing around trying to turn the umbrella back into its resting position so I can holster it and pretend nothing happened. WHY CANT THIS HAPPEN TO THE PEOPLE THAT ALMOST POKE MY EYES OUT?!
I have found a solution to my problem in the form of a poncho. I might look like the guy from I Know what you Did Last Summer, but at least I’m not risking:
a) looking like an idiot
b) getting wet and
c) poking someone’s eye out that is even taller than me (likely a dutchman).
Come on people of London….leave the umbrellas at home and lets have a big poncho party.