Ok, I know the title is a bit cheesy, but I was initially just going to title it ‘Charlie Sheen’. So I figured this was a bit more interesting and appropriate.
Basically, the Dale just wants to give his two cents, as he hasn’t written a blogpost on his shiny new ipad yet….nor has he posted on this blog for almost a year.
So Charlie Sheen. What we need to point out first and foremost is that Sheen’s claim to fame is twofold. Before 2000, Sheen was known for his work in some seriously classic movies. Platoon, Wall Street, the Major League movies, Hot Shots, etc. By the year 2000, he’d likely made enough money to retire and sit on his ass playing golf like alot of other actors do at some point in their career, but no..not Charlie. Instead, he went into TV, and won a Golden Globe almost immediately for his role in Spin City. He then continued on to Two and a Half Men, which unlike most TV sitcoms, actually gained popularity halfway through its lifespan, decreasing in viewership from 2003 (its first year) to 2006 then increasing steadily from 2006-2009. Many people, including the Dale, didnt really hear much about it until the last 3 years or so, even though Sheen was consistently nominated for various awards for his work on the show right through 2003-2009. In 2010, he was the highest paid actor on television, making $1.8 million USD an episode. Let me repeat that…THE HIGHEST PAID ACTOR ON TELEVISION. For a fucking sitcom. As far as TV gigs go, a lead role in a sitcom is about as easy as it gets. No dramatic acting, no fake crying necessary….you just sit there and recite funny lines someone else has written for you.
So Sheen had it pretty nice. Almost 3 decades in the business, still an A List actor and being paid an extortionate amount of money for, arguably, the easiest job he’d ever had. But then, in late 2010, AFTER signing the contract which would make him the highest paid actor on television, the shitstorm ensues.
Trouble with the cops, drugs, etc…the standard meltdown we’ve come to expect from Hollywood. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until, Sheen decides to take a shot at his boss in February of this year. Never a good idea. But instead of rescinding his comments and getting down on his knees and begging for forgiveness, he decides that its funny. And that he doesnt need the work. So he starts with his whole “I’m a Warlock and everybody else is a Troll” bullshit, which at first, I’ll admit, was quite entertaining. I, like millions of others, was glued to his podcasts, but not because I agreed with what he was saying, moreso because its rare that a trainwreck like that gets past his PR people and into the public eye, and I wasnt about to miss out. It was unpredictable, exciting, and there was always the slight chance that something bad would happen (dont call me morbid, walk past a guy standing on the edge of a tall building without looking up, then you can judge).
But then, once you realized, even though he was doing copious amounts of drugs, that this guy was actually in control, it became boring very, very quickly.
I lost interest right about the time that he announced he was going on tour. The World of Warcraft dialogue, paired with his “out of control” demeanor began to feel very calculated. Like he’d realized he was on to something. There was a point where it seemed obvious that he’d realized he was out of work, and he was jumping on the “Charlie Sheen is a fucking nutcase” bandwagon just to make a buck. He used twitter to recruit thousands of followers and promote his ridiculous slogans, like “Winning”, “Tigerblood”, etc. Then came the merchandise, plastered with the aformentioned ridiculous slogans….the iphone app (can you say #shamelesssellout) and the stage shows, which was more of the same bullshit, but live. And now? He barely makes the news anymore. Its not spontaneous, its not dangerous, and its definitely not exciting. His 15 minutes of fame in pop culture is over.
So what now? The Dale now sees Charlie Sheen as no more than a stand up comedian with a shitty routine. And you should all know that stand up comedians, even the best of the best, dont make $1.8 million a show. Once his tour is over, all he’ll be left with is that haggard broad he refers to as his “goddess” (the one that was half decent, Bree Olsen, realized she was better off as a famous pornstar than a crackhead’s sex slave, and left his sorry ass), and a bank account full of money to blow up his nose. Or smoke in his pipe. Years of drug abuse have left him hobbling around like an 80year old man as he shamelessly, albeit desperately promotes himself, and a life of 0 credibility and no contacts in the industry is what stands ahead of him.
So is he “winning”? No. He’s a glorified douchebag who’s ruined his reputation. Enjoy your goddess…im sure she’s thoroughly enjoying
your bank account you…Carlos Irwin.