Ok, so here’s an interesting little situation I’d like to share with you faithful readers. Feel free to comment if you have any suggestions or solutions to my dilemma.
So the other day, I get on the train to go to work. I’m sitting there, minding my own beeswax, pumping some justin bieber on the ipod. When we get to the first stop, I look up and this absolutely ridiculously insanely attractive girl walks on and sits across from me. Now when i say absolutely ridiculously insanely attractive, I mean it. An easy 10. And let it be noted that she was a brunette 10. Not a blonde 10. The reason I specify is because I believe it is much easier to be a blonde 10 than a brunette 10. The brunette 10 is a rare breed, and a girl has to be stupidly hot to be a brunette 10 in the Dale’s book. Anyway. So she gets on. Brown hair, blue eyes, mid 20’s. I immediately turn off justin bieber. Just in case. So as I’m checking this broad out (quite subtly I might add, I’m not a creeper), She looks back at me, and doesnt look away. Dead on eye contact. At this point I still had my sunglasses on, So she couldnt see that I was looking right back at her, but my instant reaction was to look away. When i looked back, she looked back. I then took off my glasses to further my investigation of her intentions. Alas, when I looked at her, she looked right back.
So perfect. The stage was set. I have this gorgeous girl who is giving me all the appropriate human mating signals that the Dale has been biologically programmed to identify, evaluate and act on, but whats the next move? I sat there, thinking to myself…what the fuck do I do now? Great, nice little ego boost to get eye-fucked by some hot girl, but what can I do about it? I would like to explore this option further than just a little EF’n. (this is the point where all you meathead idiots reading this are like “hey bro no fuckin problem bro just start talkin to her bro, what are you a pussy?”)
No. I’m just sensible. Look at it this way. I am on a full train. NO ONE is talking. Everyone is just sitting there DYING for something interesting to happen. Something that they can look at without feeling uncomfortable that is more interesting than the floor or shitty insurance ads above the windows. I for one, would like nothing more than for some douchebag moron to entertain me by hitting on some girl way out of his league on the train. I was not prepared to be judged by 20 odd strangers while I attempt to do something that is already pretty stressful. The added pressure would inevitably lead to disaster.
Not to mention the position it puts the girl in…
Imagine suffering the stares of 20 odd people watching her get hit on, and having to reply in some manner or another. It just wouldnt work. I thought of dropping my number on a piece of paper when I got off the train, then realized that would be really gay, and if she WAS the type of girl that would call a random stranger off a train, I wouldn’t want her anyway, regardless of how hot she is. So thats out of the question.
So we cant converse, therefore rendering me unable to extract any sort of useful contact information out of her, and I cant give her my contact information without a) losing my dignity b)looking like a total douchebag and c)acting like a greasy italian….so what do I do? The Dale, for one of the first times in his illustrious career, cannot find a solution to this problem.
So in the end, I got off the train when it came to my stop, we exchanged glances and a quick smile as I got off, and that was it. The end. What started as an exciting prospect became a frustrating and defeating predicament which left me feeling like the loser kid who was left out of the cool kids 6th birthday party at the Mcdonalds ball pit. I felt as though I had missed out on something, and there wasnt a whole lot to do with it. Maybe if I had met her some other place…any other place, hot train girl might have been the Dale’s new squeeze, but unfortunately, it wasn’t to be.
I guess thats it. There wasn’t really a point to this post, just figured I’d share a little thoughtsky I had, but I would love any feedback you guys have. Holler at a frog. I’ll be on a lilypad by the log. Dale out.