Gladiator Sandals are NOT hot.

Ok, I got one for you. Fuckin gladiator sandals. What is with you girls thinking these atrocious slave boots are even remotely attractive? I understand they’re trendy, but does that really mean you can overlook your own opinion and wear them? Or are all of you so brainwashed that you think you look cool running around with little arabian straps of leather entangled around your feet? I swear, all of a sudden now that the sun is out, wherever I go it looks like the broads just came back from an arabian market peddling their wares.

Do you not understand that people wore these 1000’s of years ago out of NECESSITY? They didn’t have sexy high heels or nike dunks (yea, girls look good in nike dunks.). They had some dirty haggard knife, some animal skin and some nails, and thats all they could come up with.

So what the hell are you doing wearing such archaic arch support?  If you say “they’re fashionable”, I think its pretty safe to say their sold out. Everyone wears them. You arent some trendsetter. And whoever the ‘trendsetter’ is that decided to bring these back, well I hope that she drops something heavy on her foot. That’ll teach her.

So thats all. just a quick rant. keep in mind other sandals are fine, and even gladiator sandals with a heel are borderline ok,  but girls, please understand you just look like a retarded roman slave when you wear those stupid, ugly, flat soled shitkickers. they are NOT HOT. If you own a pair, I strongly recommend you throw them out or give them to a poor person (cause gladiator boots are better than nothing, right?…that was a joke, not me showing how charitable I am. I’m not.) If you plan to forego my advice, then just remember. You look like an idiot and not ONE guy who sees you thinks that you look good. Enjoy your peasant booties.

17 thoughts on “Gladiator Sandals are NOT hot.

  1. I have a confession:
    I was totally against these herculese flops until I moved to Europe…if you think the trend is bad here, take a trip to Cyprus and Greece. It’s ALL they wear. Possibly because that is where they originated?…Well I ended up buying a pair because I felt like an allien walking around in flip flops.
    Now that I am back in Florida I have retired them to the back of my closet in shame, and continue my life in simple abercrombie flip flops.
    I agree with you completely. These are the ugliest shoes ever.

    1. ya first of all for us abercrombie flip flop suck at least as ur spartacus one !!

      We pratice havainas ! :)) I hava a left one in ITALY and right one in ISRAEL haha ( my greatest investessment in st tropez couples years ago when used to cost 2 bx! 20 at least now .. 🙂 i stilll have a big stock ! haha )

  2. Hi. Chloe, Valentino, and Balanciaga among others, disagree with your harsh assesment of the stylish Gladiator sandal. I just wanted to say that the Romans were a very cultured, sophisticated, and fashionable society. Just because you are not particularly enamored with the gladiator, doesn’t mean that everyone else who wears this particular style of sandal, looks like “a retarded roman slave”. I know lots of ladies who love their sandals, wear them everywhere, and rock them. I just bought a new pair, and I think they are awesome.

    P.S, You might try to voice your opinion with a little more class, style, and tact.

  3. High heels or fucking running shoes??
    Bahahaha you have no taste, shit bird.

    Slave sandals or a pair of delicate flats any fucking day of the week bro

    Running shoes are the tackiest fucking shoes a girl could possibly wear, and high heels are lame and unattractive, not to mention being the least sensible type of footwear on the planet.

  4. I think this article is voiced a little harshly. “They’re” not sold out and not everyone hates them. The problem with any trend is people blindly wear it without thinking of how it looks against their own features/body type etc.

    I have seen gladiator sandals look attractive if worn with taste, i.e. the right outfit, hairstyle, and I would say they look better on longer, thinner legs.

    It’s also pretty classless to say that just because a style is reminiscent of a culture and it’s people from 1000+ years ago that it automatically equates to ugly or “retarded”. Romans were very intelligent and sophisticated, so much that their art and poetry has survived thousands of years. Just because their shoes weren’t produced by giant factories, doesn’t make their sense of style or their goods less worthy. Also, these sandals were worn by all people, not just slaves.

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